She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
