he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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