If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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