You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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