I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize