I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
