Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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