I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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