life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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