would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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