this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
