I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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