it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
