I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
