My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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