You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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