Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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