If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
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