can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
