I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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