Banned from zoo.
Again?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
