I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
