Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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