In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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