Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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