ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
