She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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