Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
