At least make sure they are 18
Why
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
