i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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