I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
