Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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