the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
