I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
