My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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