If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
