what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
