called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
