Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
