dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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