I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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