Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize