let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
