Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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