there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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