Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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