a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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