1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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