At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
