tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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