just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
