rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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