that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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