I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
