you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
