She is in my trunk
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
