ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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