I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
