i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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