my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
