and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
