i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
