remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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