wrigley field is MILF paradise
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
