so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
