Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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