Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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