wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week