I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.