It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.