He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.