I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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