you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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