I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
