I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
