Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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